The circle of life...

It had been months since my last update, and all throughout those months, I have wanted to write my thoughts, like really write write every single moment of my life on a personal note. But I felt like these days I was always in a hurry, as if rushing would somehow make my days and nights pass more quickly more than it should have been.

I didn’t have the time to really sit down and reflect to a lot of issues I could have been facing, I was losing track. At that time it’s like that didn’t matter. I used to be a control freak, like everything I do must be planned. All that was somehow gone, and let the spur of the moment took over everything in me.

Honestly, I actually liked it. I realized that sometimes it’s ok to let loose and not be a control freak. I realized that it’s alright to enjoy and have fun, that it’s ok to do a couple of things that I haven’t really done before. I have always been a happy person, and I carried that happiness with me like an aura, sharing it with whoever was near me, although sometimes the emotional side of me balances things up.

It had been a while since I’d really thought about what I was doing was good for me or not at all besides the excitement and the pleasure. It felt right and also very wrong at the same time. I was sure that I’m having fun, blocking the negatives issues that somehow blur my way. I would have thought there was nothing in that to disturb me.

But the one thing I can assure is that my life did not stray to what really is my priority in life. I let them say what they want to say about me, I still think that when I glanced myself in front of the mirror, I could still see the same me from the very core of my being as opposed to some who said that I have changed. It would be much too hard to explain but I know myself more than anyone else, and I know my limitations. I wouldn’t have to explain to anyone why, I know when to say it’s enough, and I know when to protect myself.

I am lucky to have met a few friends who stick by me, whatever happens, and who knows when and how to enjoy life. I felt a rush of thankfulness as I realized that, and to those who think that I have changed and it bothers them big time, I’m sorry you see me that way, this is just me, whether you like it or not.

Time continued to move too fast, during the couple of months a lot has happened and will happen.

Right now, I have been enjoying my one week leave. YAY!

My first time in Jeddah...

Its my first time in Jeddah, can't believed it's so much fun! Can't wait to go back soon!

A Look At God on Trial...

God on Trial is a story of a group of Jewish inmates on the verge of extermination trying to make sense of their fate by putting God on Trial.

The movie is very well thought-out, intelligent, and thought provoking, keeping everything in balance which keeps the audience focus on the debate of the characters in the movie. Each were very strong on their argument, whether they are believers or non believers. Brave questions were asked which has never been asked before.

You will never dare to miss every bits and pieces of what they have to say and share, having different views and opinions being delivered with convincing attack. The actors were superb on their performance you can never single out which one stood out.

God on Trial is a kind of movie where you will pause and re-think, no matter how strong your conviction towards faith & beliefs; you will somehow question those beliefs if face with adversity and when felt abandoned by God.

All in all, the movie is excellent, with memorable performances from the actors. Kudos’ to the director and writer.

I Invoke Thee....

I have said this before, and I’m gonna say it again, I have the ability to evoke emotions given a certain situation, and when a simple truth is slapped into their faces, the reactions are intriguing. Why does it have to be me, all the time? Is it because of my being forthcoming? Or maybe everyone is having a bad day, and the timing is off? Or maybe we have suffered a lot in our personal lives and we have had enough of it already?

For sure there is suffering everywhere. This has been so since time immemorial. But don’t put a blame on me. Like what has been said, we are who we are, and we become the person that we are partly because of what we have done in the past. The key here is acceptance, we must accept and embrace life and all its letdowns, because the moment we accept it, then we liberate ourselves from anything. It may take a while to accept it, but in the end, when we accommodate it as part of our existence, we can live with it better until it doesn’t feel like it anymore.

What makes it interesting is that we are definitely humans who not only have limits but imperfections as well. Being the person that I am and who I am is something that I got used to. True to say that my friends should get to used to as well, and they must know me by now. The mere fact that we are here for almost a decade, as friends. As much as we wish to deny it, on this level, we just can’t, we have shared so many ups and so many downs that a simple setback couldn’t come between the friendship that has developed with time, no dividing or separating, no rejecting but accepting of our imperfections.

It maybe easy to say I’m sorry, but if the sorry uttered is sweet and true, and if “sorry” will be the only word to ease the pain then we say it, we say it with all our might knowing that the person who heard it appeased. But, let’s make it sure that this doesn’t have to be a recurring excuse…I mean, say sorry all the time. We just have to be careful not to discuss any sensitive issues anymore – not even in a whisper.

I am 32 years old, and everything that I have been thru is a part of my human experience.

I contemplate.

To end, I’d like to leave you with this. The people whom you will come to love in your life will disappoint you; sometimes they will break your heart. But I can assure you that one day you’ll find yourself falling in love again.

Footprints of the past...

“I can show you the world, shining shimmering splendid.
Tell me princess now when did u last let your heart desires”

These were the lines of a popular song a few years back. Wasn’t it a very nice song, so inspirational and moving? The song reminds me of the old good days of my hometown, enveloped by an overwhelming peace and serenity. At that point it was even tagged, “the hidden paradise of Mindanao”.

Let me introduce you to my hometown called SIOCON. And I would call myself a Sioconian.

All I thought that Siocon the place we Sioconians fondly called a “paradise” will forever be that paradise. The pictures show and speak for itself (I'll post pix of the aftermath soon). Siocon has been stained with intrigues and controversies. It even headline and once top at the ABS-CBN’s news stories.

You might wanna ask. How did it happen? Let me tell you how it happened.

It was eve of May 2, 2002, probably everyone in Siocon were all excited for the Fiesta. Siocon celebrates fiesta in honor of a religious holiday every first Sunday of the month of May. Fiesta is celebrated practically everywhere and every day of the year in the Philippines. Merry making and all, people are busy shopping, as always been the custom. Every household at least prepares something to share with during this occasion.

Young and old had been busy doing their thing like attend mass; attend parties with friends, etc. And so, as the celebration goes on and the socializing begins, everyone seemed happy making sure that fun never sets. Then suddenly, one unexpected moment happen. The sound was like a roaring thunder coming from the sky. To their surprise, it was gunshots, gunshots came out of nowhere. Gunshots that made everyone shocked, not knowing what would happen next! Everyone panicked, not knowing what to do, they were all in shocked! Mixed emotions! For all they know, Siocon was attacked by militants in cold blood.

This was just one of the scenarios that very day; scenarios that will forever linger in the hearts and minds of every Sioconians.

Never in the history of Siocon and its entirety had this thing happen; never in my many years of stay in Siocon.

Gone are the days when the people of Siocon feel safe and secured. Gone are the days when the people of Siocon feel excited, comfortable and relax every time the fiesta is coming. Gone are the happy days celebrating and sharing all the blessings the people had received the whole year round. Those days where changed with fear and apprehensions ,thinking that the militants might once again attack and many lives would be put in danger.

The incident happened. People accepted the fact that what happen was meant to be. But as they say, in every storm there will always be sunshine along the way. It may have been a blessing in disguise that incident because the President of the Philippines, GMA herself came to visit for the first time. It has been a historic turnaround for Siocon. Why? It is because cellphone signal has been activated. Communication is easy now for the Siocon populace. Internet can now be used and a lot more opportunities had been opened. Her visit turned out to be emotional and triumphant so to speak.

No matter what happens, my heart always goes out to Siocon, a place where I belong, the place where I have learned my first ABC’s and all the firsts in my life.

When the time comes that I would decide to go back to Siocon? I would be excited and glad. I would be happy seeing all the great things that had happened during those years when I was away; my family first and foremost; as well as my friends.

So as the saying goes, “Let bygones be bygones”. No matter what situation we may encounter, whether we falter or succeed, we always tend to rise up with high hopes and without doubt be able to face our demon. Always ready and prepared in every battle we would be facing along the way.

Siocon now has moved on, taking all the lessons earnestly hope they learned and leaving behind all the bad memories that will forever be a history.

These pictures show the new Siocon, ready to face any battle, stronger than ever. Ready to forget, accept and let the footprints of the past be blown by the winds of time.

Now, I can say once again that I can show you my world, shining, shimmering and splendid.

Michael Angelo's Bday Bash....

Birthdays and a wedding...

My weekend had begun to trip along much more quickly these days once again. Friends, parties, weddings, more friends coming back, myself and I – though not necessarily in that order – created a neat and effortless pattern to follow, which means I’m glad, being almost happy in a profound kind of way – keeping the dream away for two days in a row.

When friends celebrate birthdays or significant events in their life happen, we tend to spend time with them, although I missed one very important episode of a friend’s wedding last Thursday. I sucked at equally dividing myself and where to place it, which actually makes me envious of people who can slide by in three different occasions in one day lol. If I could do that then I would crawl of exhaustion already, although it happened last Thursday.

I was with Jam, Bong & Bryan early morning at Thursday, for the nth time we visited redsand, trying to be as hospitable as we could to Bong who’s fresh from Alkhobar since it’s his first time to the place. All in all, we enjoyed the picture taking as usual, and then head for late lunch on our way home at a Thai Asian resto which Jam I believed is a regular to the place.

At almost 3PM, I was with chin to help prepare for his birthday and despida party no matter how a little exhausted I was to the redsand trip. I didn’t let chin down like I told her to count on me on the preparations. I wouldn’t have to explain to her or to anyone why I was looking a bit tan more than my usual color that time either because of the sun that morning. I showed that I would want to spend more than I already did although I was already trying to find the strength to get to my feet all the time. Chin was ecstatic of my presence I supposed; no matter how zero my culinary skills could have been, not to mention that cooking involves heat.

I stayed up until 8PM with chin, not knowing that I have a wedding to attend to at 7PM. In other words I missed the wedding, or I intentionally just have to miss the wedding. It’s like my subconscious delivered a verdict that I must stay with chin. My dead cell phone must agree, I received quite a few missed calls from Poch, Mike, Rey earlier that evening. Of course I was willing to attend the wedding to show my support to a friend, I just couldn’t ignore the busyness at chin’s place that time, and I could not force myself out to escape. I could have crawled away if I had to, but I did not.

As soon as I thought of the wedding, a few questions came running through my head. What’s gonna happen next? How can one handle all the peer pressure? etc, a few questions being directed to a friend. Overall, the one answer that I got as I quote him “Let’s make the feeling rest in its proper place in my heart”. This seems positive, and I can feel the relief he obviously felt right now. I salute you my friend for having the braveness to control your thoughts and emotions towards all these. Instead of dwelling on the negative and terrifying possibilities of being alone, you step up, you survive and concentrated to give your support no matter how thorny it could have been for you.

No matter how unreasonable love can be, in the end we must be thankful that nothing within ourselves had been broken. People keep saying life is short. Maybe it will seem so when we’ve reached a certain age, but really life is short not to be happy for ourselves and for others. We have to experience something and learn a lot out from that experience. A few mishaps here and there, doesn’t mean the end of the world.

To this friend of mine, I guess with all these hysterics going on he should took a love sabbatical this time, for him to have enough time to reflect on things and move forward. First step, learn a sport like tennis maybe, and stick to it or surround yourself with friends.

To sum it all up, the birthday of chin was successful, the wedding was successful, however with a few bloopers to add flavor to both occasions.

I posted pix above taken at redsand and during the celebrations, and some pix from a trip to Badia Bridge the day after and an hour before the flight of Vil to Jeddah.

P.S. Happy Bday to Chin, Rey, and congratulations to S.

P.S to P.S. To Mike, finally you’re back, looking forward to a power lunch with you one of these days. Welcome back my friend.

Lost in Hofuf....

Have you ever gone to a road trip that you don’t know exactly what to expect? Adventures of a lifetime which apparently became a reason why we finally realize that we only have one life to live? A different kind of feeling came rushing from within because of the uncertainty of it all? The adrenalin rushes, and numbness while on the road to la-la land, whatsoever?

It had been a while since I went on a trip outside of Riyadh, and it all happen again last Friday. The euphoria of emotions ignited upon learning of the plan in going to Judas cave in Hofuf. The anticipation, the excitement, the fact that it is a new place to visit never gets in the way for me to have reasons not to go. I was never hesitant, instead more than willing, much more than willing in spite of the lack of sleep or no sleep at all the night before.

We reach Hofuf at midday with very little idea where Judas cave was. But we all had the same description of the place though, it’s small and not much of an ideal place for us compared with the bigness of Riyadh that me and my friends have learn to like through the years. We stumbled and asked a few people within the city proper while some gave us a few incorrect directions. Until finally two Saudi natives showed and guided us to the correct place after almost an hour of trying our luck.

We took pictures, lots of them while we explore the inside of the cave. The place is captivating and a bit scary of the danger of falling rocks, huge rocks! But I have never seen such a breath-taking sight ever before in the caves arena. They develop the place so much so people could see such a place like Judas cave. We stayed for 2 hours while discovering the place.

So what brought this weekend trip on? We just needed a change, maybe; a sort of an escape from the pressures of work, and the big city etc. I have learned that it all started with a dream of Obe. To make the story short, the Judas cave was the perfect place to go because of its biblical background, I supposed. I just don’t know what Obe’s dream have to do with the cave.

I’d like to say personally that the rest of the trip was not all fun, it comprises of gruesome endless silent screams from me. Talk about the driving! How fast Rommel could go almost hitting 200 miles per hour! It was too much to convince Rommel to slow down, esp. that I was not the driver, coz obviously he drives and I don’t, while I get an “okay” and “shush” response as he stared out the windshield while he rolled his wide eyes. As if saying, why am I so scared? I mumbled, and tried again. I mumbled yet again, and I tried yet again in convincing him to slowdown and not try to be the queen of clutch or maybe become a clutch manipulator.

It was really hard to convince R, but sometimes he surrenders because of the many excuses I had to cleverly come up with as I settled into my seat more comfortably, but of course I couldn’t think of any more reasons all the time. I felt a sigh of relief every time we would stop for a gas and the calls of nature. In the end I was the one who surrendered, I gave in, I just shook my head to dislodge that train of thought, feeling panicky. But I always paid attention to his driving, murmuring and gasping in horror as called for.

Road trip has become an art to some recently, experiencing and celebrating the open road.

Thanks to friendship allan, he came up with the title of this post. This came up while we were in the midst of finding the Judas Cave. We were discussing and laughing at how lost we are. I was telling them what an adventure this might be, and it could be an interesting topic to my blog.

Movies i liked...

There are movies we watched that made us feel human because it moved us while we immersed ourselves through it. There are movies that we like and dislike. Movies we simply devoured ourselves with the ones that catches our attention. Movies we can relate to, one way or another. Movies that eventually became a love hate relationship in us, we watch them again and again and then we don’t.

I must admit, there are times when I rarely watch any movies, it’s unpredictable.

But one of the things that I am proud of and claim responsibility for is that, over the years I have collected a bunch of movies to my liking, ranging from action, comedy, drama, sci-fiction, suspense-thriller, and love story. It is being well-kept. Like a priceless possession it is something that I could get back to someday.

A friend, who had the same passion as mine or maybe more, once told me that his collection may outlive him. We also have this habit of reading the review of the movie at wikipedia; if it does have a positive review from critics then we watch it. This is how we gauge the movies that I watch.

Recently, I have added a few very interesting movies to my collection with superb stories, plot and twist in the end you wouldn’t expect.

TWILIGHT

Twilight is a 2008 American romantic-fantasy film directed by Catherine Hardwicke and based on the novel of the same name by Stephenie Meyer. The film stars Kristen Stewart as Bella Swan, a teenage girl who falls in love with vampire Edward Cullen, portrayed by Robert Pattinson.

REVOLUTIONARY ROAD

Revolutionary Road is a Golden Globe award-winning 2008 British-American drama film directed by Sam Mendes and starring Leonardo Dicaprio and Kate Winslet. The screenplay by Justin Haythe is based ont eh 1961 novel of the same name by Richard Yates. The film opened on December 26, 2008.

THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON

The curious case of Benjamin Button is a 2008 American film, very loosely based on the 1921 short story of the same name written by F. Scott Fitzgerald. The film was directed by David Fincher, written by Eric Roth, and stars Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett. The film was released on December 25, 2008.

Just Watch The Fireworks...

2009 is finally here, which means I have to say, “Goodbye 2008”. I thank you for the wonderful and not-so-wonderful times we shared last year. Nevertheless, there have been many memories to live-by, memories which made me laugh and cry a bucket-load of tears. Triumphs and desperation. Success and failures. Name it. 2008 has it all for me to remember.

I do not expect too much of 2009 personally, but a lot has been said that this year we expect the worst especially with the economy plummets into piteous low and still unraveling. The very obvious dramatic state of global financial crisis which cause political and economical instability, that even the most developed and most powerful countries had been affected by it.

But I have high hopes that we can survive this, notwithstanding. I just have to think that this year will be the year like no other. Hopefully, my eagerness will last long enough to fulfill all my goals before the year 2009 ends.

P.S

For starters, I and my friends opened the New Year with an intimate celebration of Poch birthday with mouth-watering delectable casual home-cooked chow for us to dine.

I posted some pictures taken during the New Year celebration and Poch bday bash. We had fun at both celebrations!