Another year older, another drama...

It’s my birthday yesterday (aug.30) and I haven’t even greeted myself in here or updated anything in here for that matter. So far this has been one of my happiest birthdays ever. It felt like I’m exalted for so many reasons. There’s no bonggacius celebration like what my friend Rommel had last Thursday night (btw, thanks mhel, the food taste lovely, more than enough to give an orgasmic effect in my mouth..hehe).

My bday celebration (that I wouldn’t even call a celebration) was a total opposite. It was intimate & I had fun. B was there (he rocks my world these days) as well as Pegs and Chin. That’s about it and that’s all that matters to me right now. But hey, it was so so much fun, really!

With that, I wanna thank God for giving me another year of my life. For everything that He has given me for the past year. All the blessings, my family, my friends, my frenemies (meron ba?) & B who completes me.

But it was my tête-à-tête intimate conve with RL last night at 2:30am that wraps up my bday that I would call it a night. We have talked about a lot of things. It was by far the best conversation I had with him. Although it sadden me seeing him last night finally packing up his things ready for his flight to the Philippines today. We were talking like good old friends, no grudges or ill feelings whatsoever between us. I would say that we parted in good faith. My mind and my heart tells me that whenever wherever, we would still be good friends that’s for sure. God knows how much I’m gonna miss him. I will forever love rl no matter what and he knows that.

To all those who greeted me, thank you from the bottom of my “ga-uros-uros- nga- murag- kayu nga gugma” heart.

The question remains.....

The question remains, what is it with love that makes everyone stupid sometimes?

Recently, I have been a witnessed to an affair, a love affair that will supposedly be envied by everyone’s eyes. The relationship seems perfect; a perfect partner with an almost perfect guy you could ever imagine. Perhaps the affair may be a road to hell but it’s pave with good intentions. The willingness, the enthusiasm and the passion is all that I could see in them. Happiness, tranquility, and contentment surround at each others arms with so much grip impossible to take apart. Hearts wide open; ears are almost ready to hear each others predicament. If Teddy Bears could speak, then it will only speak of words soothing to hear; a true witness to the saga of love had gone wild; showing and caressing affection at one another.

But relationships like this end, moments of blissfulness vanished and the happy days are over. True character revealed as black as hell, you never would have thought he possess. He wears a mask underneath revealing but his personal interest.

At this point, my heart is screaming and crying seeing her at her lowest of low. She’s in pain. If you could only see what she has been thru these past few days? I feel for her and shame on him! Wait till it backfires all what you have done that made her feel this way. Then you will realize how hard it is to be in her situation. It was like an open wound, which is still bleeding with no healing in sight.

Right at this very moment, the relationship is on the hang, waiting for answers, and left unsure whether or not she deserved of the treatment. Finding ways and means to relieve and end the agony, the pain that will remain a mark forever in her heart.

It is a dilemma that they will only realize when the right time comes.

It is frightening to see people fall out of love; unable to see what the real problem was.

Right now she is exhausted trying to look for answers to appease her almost exploding heart.

Incidentally, I’d like to share this timely phrase which I had the chance to bump into, in one of my friendster browsing nights, which goes; “Isn’t life so unfair right? You turn out to love someone who could not love u just the same. But still you continue loving because you hope things will end up fine, but it wouldn’t. You cry, you fill bad and you end up broke, you wanna hurt that person, but you hurt more and you’re so much bitter”.

Do I deserve to experience pain in loving him?

Do I deserve to be treated unfairly after all the good things I’ve done for him?

Is he worth fighting for when I knew that he does not value the love I had for him?

Or shall I pretend that nothing happens and insist myself until he realized that I am worthy for him?

Having said all of that, I can conclude that the reason for all this madness? LOVE, this crazy little thing called LOVE.

To sum it all up, I’d say there is HOPE and she must cling on to that hope no matter how small it is. LOVE reigns, afterall.