On again, Off again...

There is something magical about taking a self-declared sabbatical. I just had to; coz in my case, there’s so much going on and all of it simultaneously. The whole time last week I was feeling quite stressed-out since it seemed that a few things were starting to go wrong for me. The news about my Aunt’s death, a bad news from a friend, I was not happy with work and some personal stuff to deal with. I was not in control on all of them to prevent it from happening. It’s God’s will.

Last Wednesday, I had the house all to myself. My roommates R and W were at work practically trying to impress their bosses, maybe. It is summer here in the ME and I must admit the idea of being alone in this oozing hot country was not a thrilling prospect. What’s it there to complain about since I’ve been leaving in the Kingdom for almost a decade now and I guess by now I got used to the hot weather already?

With all of that happening, I was beginning to entertain worst-case scenarios. As trivial as the inconvenience may seem, I was getting anxious about it. What if I couldn’t rise up to the occasion? How am I going to function? Here I was, trying to make things better with little knowledge on how to and I know this had to happen. With self-pity beginning to well up, I felt myself contracting somewhat. I was beginning to feel that I had enough reason to justify staying under my bed covers and feeling sorry for myself. But I reckoned that my choices actually boiled down to two: be miserable or learn to do something productive for the time being while I’m alone.

I guess life is like that. We all get kicked out of our comfort zones every so often and I might as well not resist it. I could either have a miserable time or I could seize this chance to discover new things, an intimate discovery of myself, the people around me and the place where I live, like my room for instance.

That very day, right there inside our room with all my might, I took pains to sweep and vacuum the floors, wipe the tables, arrange my closet, know what strange uncooked stuff resided inside the freezer and be smart enough to figure out other things to do. I also arranged the beds, threw the garbage in their proper bins, and a whole lot more. And during moments of rest, I learned to stop stiffening and contorting my body. Just then when I got a call from chin, sadly breaking out the bad news to me.

After a few minutes on the phone with chin, a moment of silence, cold and bleak overshadowed in me. It almost reminded me of that day when my sis blurted about Aunt Puring’s passing. I suggested and give chin the best advice I could possibly give and that there is hope for everything.

From there I learned to pay attention to other people’s thought and issues. Friends for me are like family, they have to be constantly cared for if necessary, like our physical bodies that need to be attended regularly.

In many ways, my simple task of taking care of myself, my friends and keeping our room tidy is a noble one. It is no less important than holding up the sky and making sure this humble abode remains comfortable and sturdy for my roommate’s eventual return that very day. All these simple things I did when I was alone amounted to the equivalent of death-defying acts! LOL..

The interconnectedness of things unravels before me and I actually witness its divine mission. From doing household chores to listening to chin’s feeling of pain at that moment. There is a rhythm to it all. Different angles of the scene being showed. It is an exciting and empowering experience to help other people alleviate their pains and learn to prepare for the very next battle I was about to face.

Last Wednesday was no ordinary day for me. I learned a lot of things like plunging into quiet aloneness can be rewarding and worthy of experience. I learned a lot about myself that day, my intimate self; a largely undiscovered territory of me which I never knew existed.

The next thing I know I was rushing up on my way to meeting up with chin.