Suddenly Everything Has Changed...

In my entire stay in the Kingdom over the years had I remember the opportunity to get to know quite a lot of people, people that eventually become my friends and some of them I lost. It’s either they left the kingdom for good or just wandering around it's four corners waiting to be found. They come, they go. They come, they go. Any new person I meet, a new detail I encounter, a path uncovered becomes sign that seems to affirm that I am being led to a new life that awaits me. A recurring situation which I believed I had become a master of it in no time.

As people come by in our life without us knowing it, there are situations that are quite similar. I could hardly remember how many times I have move from one place to another except for the last one which happened a week ago. A feeling that everything else I was doing was pretty much a been-there-done-that situation. The decision of moving to a new room is always out of my control, although I may have the ability to delay and hold a few more weeks before finally moving out.

Just the idea of moving and the transitions somehow scare the hell out of me. One is being asked to leave one place and go to another. Never mind that the place I am leaving has become boring, transitions can still be daunting to say the least. You have to actually let go of your comfort zone and jump into another and build a new one until you reach the comfy side of it once and again. This last one, I have left behind so many memories that I was weary of bringing along with me. A decision that for the first time I felt like it’s actually right, no matter how exhausting it was. I just had to accept and embrace it and turn away from the things I am familiar with. I have to leave one place and go to another and not to live the exact same old life I was once had.

Situations like these, I feel like I am free again. Scary as it is, I must do it if I were to move forward because it is the path to growth, although the transition may not be that seamless.

Happy Endings....

Life is a journey filled with lessons, hardships, heartaches, joys, celebrations and special moments that will ultimately lead us to our destination, our purpose in life. The road will not always be smooth; in fact, throughout our travels, we will encounter many challenges.

Some of these challenges will test our courage, strengths, weaknesses, and faith. Along the way, we may stumble upon obstacles that will come between the paths that we are destined to take. In order to follow the right path, we must overcome these obstacles. Sometimes these obstacles are really blessings in disguise, only we don't realize that at the time.

Along our journey we will be confronted with many situations, some will be filled with joy, and some will be filled with heartache. How we react to what we are faced with determines what kind of outcome the rest of our journey through life will be like.

When things don't always go our way, we have two choices in dealing with the situations. We can focus on the fact that things didn't go how we had hoped they would and let life pass us by, or two, we can make the best out of the situation and know that these are only temporary setbacks and find the lessons that are to be learned.

Time stops for no one, and if we allow ourselves to focus on the negative we might miss out on some really amazing things that life has to offer. We can't go back to the past, we can only take the lessons that we have learned and the experiences that we have gained from it and move on. It is because of the heartaches, as well as the hardships, that in the end help to make us a stronger person.

The people that we meet on our journey, are people that we are destined to meet. Everybody comes into our lives for some reason or another and we don't always know their purpose until it is too late. They all play some kind of role. Some may stay for a lifetime; others may only stay for a short while.

It is often the people who stay for only a short time that ends up making a lasting impression not only in our lives, but in our hearts as well. Although we may not realize it at the time, they will make a difference and change our lives in a way we never could imagine. To think that one person can have such a profound affect on your life forever is truly a blessing. It is because of these encounters that we learn some of life's best lessons and sometimes we even learn a little bit about ourselves.

People will come and go into our lives quickly, but sometimes we are lucky to meet that one special person that will stay in our hearts forever no matter what. Even though we may not always end up being with that person and they may not always stay in our life for as long as we like, the lessons that we have learned from them and the experiences that we have gained from meeting that person, will stay with us forever.

It's these things that will give us strength to continue on with our journey. We know that we can always look back on those times of our past and know that because of that one individual, we are who we are and we can remember the wonderful moments that we have shared with that person.

Memories are priceless treasures that we can cherish forever in our hearts. They also enables us to continue on with our journey for whatever life has in store for us. Sometimes all it takes is one special person to help us look inside ourselves and find a whole different person that we never knew existed. Our eyes are suddenly opened to a world we never knew existed- a world where time is so precious and moments never seem to last long enough.

Throughout this adventure, people will give you advice and insights on how to live your life but when it all comes down to it, you must always do what you feel is right. Always follow your heart, and most importantly never have any regrets. Don't hold anything back. Say what you want to say, and do what you want to do, because sometimes we don't get a second chance to say or do what we should have the first time around.

It is often said that what doesn't kill you will make you stronger. It all depends on how one defines the word "strong" It can have different meanings to different people. In this sense, "stronger" means looking back at the person you were and comparing it to the person you have become today. It also means looking deep into your soul and realizing that the person you are today couldn't exist if it weren't for the things that have happened in the past or for the people that you have met. Everything that happens in our life happens for a reason and sometimes that means we must face heartaches in order to experience joy.

This article is so nice not to post. It deeply moved me. I had this article for like years at my email archive and I believed its worth reading and sharing.

The search for something more...

After all the delegated routine work done at the office everyday, thoughts came rushing through my head that working as a secretary is a dead-end job and it won’t lead me to anything. This is the kind of job that I have put up with for a long time now. It felt like I’m being stack in one corner forever. True to say that we are all seeking something better and very few of us could say that we are truly contented with every aspect of our lives.

Sometimes I go nuts having to sit keeping my chair warm for long hours doing nothing. Not to mention losing my temper for having to get up bright and early everyday doing the same thing over and over again. But other times it’s like I’m really gung ho and in good spirits working all day long. I wonder why! It doesn’t matter what my boss thinks of me. After all I’m exactly doing my job the way it’s supposed. A little appreciation would do to boost my self worth.

In all honesty, for the many years I have been working as a secretary, learning to love your job is the key. If you look at the bright side, all else will be ok. If it weren’t because of my work right now then things wouldn’t be right for me. Being out of work is something that I wouldn’t dream of. Although sometimes it stressed me out that I couldn’t sleep at night.

You may think that I’m always whining and complaining about my job, which I do. This is actually sort of like my way of liking my job. I have to write it out and be able to balance and come up with what is really good for me. So whatever I have right now I just have to be content and comfortable with it. I have to be happy with my job because our stay in the Kingdom is not really guaranteed, and believing that the happier we are, the more successful we can be.

And every time I think that working as a secretary is a dead-end job. I’m gonna have to think and make a decision not to think that way again. I will keep making that decision until it’s no longer a decision, but a way of life.

Rediscovering the joy of family...

For the past week I have been in constant communication with my family and friends in UK and back in the Philippines. It’s a great feeling having to talk to them and hearing their voices once again which I haven’t done in a while. I called my sister in UK and I heard my 1-year and 6 mos. old niece Nicole cry for the first time. I’ve seen Nicole thru pictures at my sis friendster account only, and her older sister Kate Cassandra is 3 years and 5 mos. old. How time flies.

I called Mom, Roldan & Jun-Jun, I also got the chance to talk to my niece Alexis who’s 8 y/o now, she’s the daughter of my brother Jun-Jun. Alexis is still a baby when I left the Philippines years ago, and now she’s all grown up while Zachary is 3 years old and he looks a bit like me daw when I too was a baby. That’s interesting.

Also, I had a 3-way conference call with Andy and Lalay for almost an hour. Andy is in Polanco while Lalay is in Siocon. What an amazing telephone I got here in my office. I just have to wait and see till the tel. bill will arrive nxt month. Or maybe they might kick me out because of this. Hope not. I don’t wanna end up jobless.

God knows how much I missed everyone back home. I know it’s been crazy coz I feel like I have to make up to them big time. I finally feel I am again at peace with the world. I feel like a brick has been lifted off my chest. Nothing can be compared to that feeling of joy of being able to connect with them.

Keep the faith....

There are things in life that you didn’t expect to happen. People who surprises you with their gestures; unforeseen forces of nature that you don’t actually understand until you realize that it hit you hard, real hard. Sometimes you asked; what have I done to deserve all this? But most of the times when you think deeply, you realize that all this are a result of every action you may have done in the past and you may have to live with the consequences all along.

What’s confusing is that how people would react which surprises me one way or another.
Perhaps right now, I felt like I have the ability to let people be who they really are. Come out from their cocoon which reveals truth. Some are good ones and some aren’t. Shocking but its true. I have somehow realized that when it comes to whatever I have done, it’s always been big deal when I think it shouldn’t.

If I have the power to let everyone know what I feel, I will. If I have the power to let everyone know what the real story is, I will. But spare me. I have chosen to keep mum except for people whom I believe I could trust.

But let me just take a little sleigh ride down memory lane and tell all of you that the one thing that I have no regret it happens to me in the past, a part of my big past, is what makes me happy and sad. Being in love. I don’t care what I have done or whom I have done it with; I don’t care about whatever demons I may have in my closet. I care about what he makes me feel and he makes me feel strong and safe and calm and warm and true and sad. He makes me feel so many emotions I had no idea I have. The memories are good ones, some of the few that I have.

Right at this very moment, I may have to think that my pasts are nonexistent, my future but a distant fear. Life can be hard and depressing and brutal but I have to live with it. I have to think that this is all in the past. My anger and my hatred, my failure and my shame and my horror and the humiliation, I have to live with. And I pray that all this will be forgotten. Slowly forgotten I must. Life is about change, sometimes it’s painful, sometimes it’s beautiful, but most of the time it’s both.

Right now, the pain is gone.

What keeps me holding right now is my faith. And this time, I have to embrace and accept the idea that faith can make my life better. I know my faith makes my life better, and whether that I believe in exists or not, because I have faith in it, I get the benefits of that faith.

XO,

B