My sis neneng, Kuya Lito and baby KC enjoying the snow
My bro/sis roldan
lalay
andy
SioConAlmost seven years ago, when I first came in Saudi Arabia to try my luck away from all the people that I loved and cared about. I was at the peak of my career as a secondary teacher back then. I was only 23, a very ideal age for anyone. I was happy with my job and I was so inlove for the first time (naks!).
But the one reason that drove me to where I am right now was always about my future, should I stay and get stack being a teacher, nothing would happen to me in the long run, although being a teacher was a very fulfilling profession.
That one reason leads to another. For one, I think about my family, me being the second child and the oldest among my two younger brothers. Much is expected of me. I think about what it would be like being away from the people you cared about. What it would be like to end the relationship that made you fall in love for the first time knowing how much love and energy you put into your relationship and feel like a normal person again.
But more importantly, I think about me.
I just wanted to see the world completely in a different set of eyes, in a different perspective & think maturely & have that so-called long term goals. I wanted to experience all that and fulfill my purpose.
Though it may not be easy fulfilling all those dreams, you may have to take the risk whatever happens and only hope for the best.
It wasn’t really easy at all when I first decided to come here. It’s so funny how people tried to put me down back then and like criticize about my capacity to not make it. They would say things to me that, I would never gonna make it. That I was never good enough. They create issues about me that I feel it wasn’t necessary. I really don’t know what would be there purpose in telling me all that. You’ll never really know another persons intentions or what another person wants. I feel like I was too open and looking for answers when I had it all to begin with.
At some point I almost gave up, but sometimes we all do really care what other people think or we wouldn’t be here. I took all that as a challenge, I used to be angry coz I was hurting, I tried to be numb to what I hear.
They can never win. Coz at the end of the day, you know those people who truly cared.
Maybe this is the reason for this post. To maybe allow people to look at me differently and positively and I would say that one of the purpose of this post is for me to thank all those people who have helped me put to where I am right now (you know who you are). This is my opportunity to reach out to them and tell them how each of them made a difference in my life. And to those people who do not believe that I can make it on my own, and criticize. Thank you, it made me even stronger. And show to the world that I can do it. I do not place blame on anyone but rather grateful for without those criticism I wouldn’t be the stronger person that I am today somehow. Now I can say that I genuinely know what to do with myself and I’m glad about it. I would never succumb about other’s opinion just because I’m guilty.
Seven years had past and I’m still here, trying to stand still. I have lived my life without so much expectations. I have live almost exactly what I wanted my life to be. I may have experienced some misfortunes along the way, but I can proudly say that I weathered them all. Although we may never really understand or figure out life completely coz that’s God’s job, but It’s like I am more in control of my life right now.
Like anyone of you out there, I just want the same things in life you want….and that is to be happy!
PS.
Above are the people that inspired me to be where I am right now!
My sis tere in UK & her family, my brother roldan who’s in his last year sa nursing course nya, he’ll be graduating soon, my friend lalay who’s a successful teacher now & my friend andy who’s a junior politician in our town and a teacher too.
My mom and popsie and my bro junjun may not be included in the pic but they matter to me as well.
But the one reason that drove me to where I am right now was always about my future, should I stay and get stack being a teacher, nothing would happen to me in the long run, although being a teacher was a very fulfilling profession.
That one reason leads to another. For one, I think about my family, me being the second child and the oldest among my two younger brothers. Much is expected of me. I think about what it would be like being away from the people you cared about. What it would be like to end the relationship that made you fall in love for the first time knowing how much love and energy you put into your relationship and feel like a normal person again.
But more importantly, I think about me.
I just wanted to see the world completely in a different set of eyes, in a different perspective & think maturely & have that so-called long term goals. I wanted to experience all that and fulfill my purpose.
Though it may not be easy fulfilling all those dreams, you may have to take the risk whatever happens and only hope for the best.
It wasn’t really easy at all when I first decided to come here. It’s so funny how people tried to put me down back then and like criticize about my capacity to not make it. They would say things to me that, I would never gonna make it. That I was never good enough. They create issues about me that I feel it wasn’t necessary. I really don’t know what would be there purpose in telling me all that. You’ll never really know another persons intentions or what another person wants. I feel like I was too open and looking for answers when I had it all to begin with.
At some point I almost gave up, but sometimes we all do really care what other people think or we wouldn’t be here. I took all that as a challenge, I used to be angry coz I was hurting, I tried to be numb to what I hear.
They can never win. Coz at the end of the day, you know those people who truly cared.
Maybe this is the reason for this post. To maybe allow people to look at me differently and positively and I would say that one of the purpose of this post is for me to thank all those people who have helped me put to where I am right now (you know who you are). This is my opportunity to reach out to them and tell them how each of them made a difference in my life. And to those people who do not believe that I can make it on my own, and criticize. Thank you, it made me even stronger. And show to the world that I can do it. I do not place blame on anyone but rather grateful for without those criticism I wouldn’t be the stronger person that I am today somehow. Now I can say that I genuinely know what to do with myself and I’m glad about it. I would never succumb about other’s opinion just because I’m guilty.
Seven years had past and I’m still here, trying to stand still. I have lived my life without so much expectations. I have live almost exactly what I wanted my life to be. I may have experienced some misfortunes along the way, but I can proudly say that I weathered them all. Although we may never really understand or figure out life completely coz that’s God’s job, but It’s like I am more in control of my life right now.
Like anyone of you out there, I just want the same things in life you want….and that is to be happy!
PS.
Above are the people that inspired me to be where I am right now!
My sis tere in UK & her family, my brother roldan who’s in his last year sa nursing course nya, he’ll be graduating soon, my friend lalay who’s a successful teacher now & my friend andy who’s a junior politician in our town and a teacher too.
My mom and popsie and my bro junjun may not be included in the pic but they matter to me as well.
And the last pic was taken during my vacation ’05 at my hometown of Siocon.
Siocon being the one place that all my loved ones have live.
4 comments:
we always have things we regret that we have done in the past. the important thing is how we stand up and move on.
as long as you learn from whatever things you have made in the past it is just fine. these are our teachers and it will make us a better person.
yeah i've learned my lesson, the hard way and now i'm happy with whatever i've got.
thanks cris and mel for your comments.
hello my sweetheart...i miss you so much and am so proud of you and of what you've become...as always we are here for you..stand still..stand proud...most of all take care of yourself kay lawas ra ang puhunan as what papang always tell us even today..nice blog!
Post a Comment