The Unsmiling Tsarevna
Brit clad in a school uniform in the videofor "Baby one more time"
this one's the latest
Why do people get bored? And how do they get away from it? Therapy? Counseling?
These are just some of the few questions which puzzled me out all the time.
A few months ago we heard news about Britney Spears- one of the biggest well known pop stars in the world, being held in rehabilitation/treatment facility called PROMISES to detoxify herself. B having all the luxury in the world and the people around her who’s always there to protect her, has suffered such an emotional breakdown? It may seem hard to know or impossible to understand. I would never think that boredom would be the main reason of her breakdown. A lot of factors are to be considered. She may be rich, but she’s not happy, she may have a husband but they’re on a divorce process. The only consolation B has right now is having two 2 beautiful angels, which obviously she loves dearly.
Boredom might be or partly plays a role in this stage of her life right now, boredom which actually leads her to hitting rock bottom.
Anyway, speaking about Britney Spears, my relationship with her goes back almost seven years to the first time I ever heard "Baby One More Time." I did not fit the target demographic for that song, why? Coz I think I was too old for the song. But I was drawn to it, like I was to many great pop songs because it stuck like cooked pasta to the inside of my brain and followed me everywhere. I hummed it almost every morning preparing myself for work and would often walk in the exact dance steps from the video. I guess it was my LSS back then, but I had totally no idea what LSS was about that time yet.
I always thought Britney was better than her pop contemporaries, and not because she was good at singing. She was good enough at singing, but she was so much better at everything else involved in the package. She could dance and move around an entire crowd of dancers in a way that made it seem as if no one else was on stage. And even then it wasn't because she was the best dancer. It was the shape of her body, the way she snapped her head, the symmetry between the glare in her eyes and the pout in her lips. She made it seem effortless, that being young and beautiful was what she was born to do and would continue to do for the rest of her life.
If you talked to any of my co-teachers during those years they would have told you that when I wasn't napping underneath my desk I was reciting Britney Spears, and that I did both remarkably well.
My only wish for her right now is to make a music comeback as big as she was years ago.
However, what really triggered me to write about boredom was me and my state of sanity in question by none other than MYSELF alone, not Britney or anyone else. I felt like I’m Vincent Van Gogh who had this bipolar disorder or what they call manic depression. They say it runs in the family but in my case not. I got to have these different kinds of emotions or mixed state. Sometimes I feel like I’m in heavens, but most of the time I couldn’t even describe how I truly feel. One minute I’m happy then one minute I’m sad. It confuses me.
My concerns right now are the things that I am experiencing and had to go through. i.e the rapid change of emotion; melancholic & ecstatic feeling all combined, the physical changes that I have noticed in me and my friends, the sleepless nights, the meals I had skip, my being a loner? etc.etc.
What do these things all mean? Whether this is going to be good or bad, somewhere along the way I have to find it for myself! Maybe to some of you who are reading this would be obvious but for me it’s unclear. I’d hope that someday somehow I’d puzzle it out the soonest.
These all leads to a conclusion that no matter who you are, what you are and which position you have in this world, whether you’re a popular rockstar and the smallest person in this world, when depression or boredom hits you, it will hit you real hard and that you have to prepare yourself all the time.
Therapy? Counselling? anyone???
These are just some of the few questions which puzzled me out all the time.
A few months ago we heard news about Britney Spears- one of the biggest well known pop stars in the world, being held in rehabilitation/treatment facility called PROMISES to detoxify herself. B having all the luxury in the world and the people around her who’s always there to protect her, has suffered such an emotional breakdown? It may seem hard to know or impossible to understand. I would never think that boredom would be the main reason of her breakdown. A lot of factors are to be considered. She may be rich, but she’s not happy, she may have a husband but they’re on a divorce process. The only consolation B has right now is having two 2 beautiful angels, which obviously she loves dearly.
Boredom might be or partly plays a role in this stage of her life right now, boredom which actually leads her to hitting rock bottom.
Anyway, speaking about Britney Spears, my relationship with her goes back almost seven years to the first time I ever heard "Baby One More Time." I did not fit the target demographic for that song, why? Coz I think I was too old for the song. But I was drawn to it, like I was to many great pop songs because it stuck like cooked pasta to the inside of my brain and followed me everywhere. I hummed it almost every morning preparing myself for work and would often walk in the exact dance steps from the video. I guess it was my LSS back then, but I had totally no idea what LSS was about that time yet.
I always thought Britney was better than her pop contemporaries, and not because she was good at singing. She was good enough at singing, but she was so much better at everything else involved in the package. She could dance and move around an entire crowd of dancers in a way that made it seem as if no one else was on stage. And even then it wasn't because she was the best dancer. It was the shape of her body, the way she snapped her head, the symmetry between the glare in her eyes and the pout in her lips. She made it seem effortless, that being young and beautiful was what she was born to do and would continue to do for the rest of her life.
If you talked to any of my co-teachers during those years they would have told you that when I wasn't napping underneath my desk I was reciting Britney Spears, and that I did both remarkably well.
My only wish for her right now is to make a music comeback as big as she was years ago.
However, what really triggered me to write about boredom was me and my state of sanity in question by none other than MYSELF alone, not Britney or anyone else. I felt like I’m Vincent Van Gogh who had this bipolar disorder or what they call manic depression. They say it runs in the family but in my case not. I got to have these different kinds of emotions or mixed state. Sometimes I feel like I’m in heavens, but most of the time I couldn’t even describe how I truly feel. One minute I’m happy then one minute I’m sad. It confuses me.
My concerns right now are the things that I am experiencing and had to go through. i.e the rapid change of emotion; melancholic & ecstatic feeling all combined, the physical changes that I have noticed in me and my friends, the sleepless nights, the meals I had skip, my being a loner? etc.etc.
What do these things all mean? Whether this is going to be good or bad, somewhere along the way I have to find it for myself! Maybe to some of you who are reading this would be obvious but for me it’s unclear. I’d hope that someday somehow I’d puzzle it out the soonest.
These all leads to a conclusion that no matter who you are, what you are and which position you have in this world, whether you’re a popular rockstar and the smallest person in this world, when depression or boredom hits you, it will hit you real hard and that you have to prepare yourself all the time.
Therapy? Counselling? anyone???
2 comments:
should you have this kind of disorder i would say you still the coolest patient. why? i guess you already know what i mean. charm
i know exactly what u mean..hehe! charm!
thanks mel!
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