You ever look a picture of yourself, and see a stranger in the background?. And then you question yourself about who you really are and how it is like to be you? In other words, confused?
I do…quite a few times actually!
The last couple of months for me have been a roller coaster ride of emotional cries & battle. During those months, there has been a lot of ups and a lot of downs. Forces that I think may have affected me negatively somehow in some aspect of my life. People around me tend to become so observant. They often misconstrue me about anything. I always get notice for what I wear, what I say and I what I don’t say, what I do and what I don’t do, the people I mingle with, etc.etc., which made me think badly about them and then question their sincerity.
I guess almost everyone has these ulterior motives from everyone. I do not know what would that be, but it is in them hiding somewhere.
Putting somebody like me in a situation such as these is quite a hurdle. I became too conscious & cautious about what to act and what to say. I’m like a bird who wanted to be freed anytime out his cage. Sometimes I feel inferior about myself, it’s like I’m loosing my self-confidence & faith in my own abilities along the way. I felt like I have lost my free will and that I’m always responsible and be blamed for everything that I do. I have developed self doubts & become critical of myself almost loosing my self esteem.
Being me and & in my shoes is kind of hard. However, I thought that negative outcomes are always possible. But rather than exaggerating or minimizing it, you give it the due attention necessary (what can I do if this happens ...).Confused as I can be, I face my fear; I face my demon and deal with it. It’s always just a matter of state of balanced and positive perception. It’s just a matter of learning how to keep things to yourself, stand for what you believe in & rescuing yourself.
All these are like a test to me, because it’s only when we’re tested that we truly discover who we are. And it’s only when we are tested that we discover who we can be. A tough test that will randomly measure our emotional strength, intellectual aptitude, social and mental focus, and yes, our undying moral values. The person that you want to be does exist, somewhere in the other side of hard work and faith, and belief and beyond fear of what life has.
Everything that I have experienced during the past months made me realized how beautiful and how complicated life really is and that in life there always comes a time that you question yourself about who you really are, what you can do and what you can’t do as well as your limitations as a person.
I do…quite a few times actually!
The last couple of months for me have been a roller coaster ride of emotional cries & battle. During those months, there has been a lot of ups and a lot of downs. Forces that I think may have affected me negatively somehow in some aspect of my life. People around me tend to become so observant. They often misconstrue me about anything. I always get notice for what I wear, what I say and I what I don’t say, what I do and what I don’t do, the people I mingle with, etc.etc., which made me think badly about them and then question their sincerity.
I guess almost everyone has these ulterior motives from everyone. I do not know what would that be, but it is in them hiding somewhere.
Putting somebody like me in a situation such as these is quite a hurdle. I became too conscious & cautious about what to act and what to say. I’m like a bird who wanted to be freed anytime out his cage. Sometimes I feel inferior about myself, it’s like I’m loosing my self-confidence & faith in my own abilities along the way. I felt like I have lost my free will and that I’m always responsible and be blamed for everything that I do. I have developed self doubts & become critical of myself almost loosing my self esteem.
Being me and & in my shoes is kind of hard. However, I thought that negative outcomes are always possible. But rather than exaggerating or minimizing it, you give it the due attention necessary (what can I do if this happens ...).Confused as I can be, I face my fear; I face my demon and deal with it. It’s always just a matter of state of balanced and positive perception. It’s just a matter of learning how to keep things to yourself, stand for what you believe in & rescuing yourself.
All these are like a test to me, because it’s only when we’re tested that we truly discover who we are. And it’s only when we are tested that we discover who we can be. A tough test that will randomly measure our emotional strength, intellectual aptitude, social and mental focus, and yes, our undying moral values. The person that you want to be does exist, somewhere in the other side of hard work and faith, and belief and beyond fear of what life has.
Everything that I have experienced during the past months made me realized how beautiful and how complicated life really is and that in life there always comes a time that you question yourself about who you really are, what you can do and what you can’t do as well as your limitations as a person.
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