Win Some…Lose Some
By: Jam Nava-Cruz II
Riyadh, Saudi Arabia
By: Jam Nava-Cruz II
Riyadh, Saudi Arabia
Why does everything lose its allure or value or glory? Would somebody please tell me why? I buy some toy cars, even it is cheap, it cannot get much worse. I feel like a kid again, playing with toys and then starts getting very annoying. Seriously, I don’t consider myself as a person who gets bored very easily; my attention span can go on up to three whole hours. I can even spend three hours straight with a person that I almost want to strangle to death. You see how tolerant I am. But for some odd reasons, I feel like every single exciting thing I get in my life is only exciting for a certain period of time. Then it starts becoming normal. I mean, I am happy about it for sure but with sort of indifference. I can give you tons of examples: It is like when I start up with my job at the office of a certain "Royalty" that I feel I am indeed in a corporate environment arena. A feeling of euphoria (hoping that it will offer me a touch of pleasure and a pinch of luxury (but not until this very now. Now, it becomes a kind of routine. And the perfection starts fading away. I can start see the imperfections, noticing the annoying elements in the corporate environment I am moving and working on; even sensing the emotional inconsistencies of my beloved officemates.
I tell you it is scary. I mean, seeing things as they truly are can be brutal. I suggest that all people keep their masks and that way, we can have a more healthy environment. I don’t need to know that a certain guy broke up with his girlfriend. I don't need to know that a friend is badmouthing me or telling foul against another friend. Sometimes, I just want to sit in my home-pad breathing my smoke-free-air. Is that too much to ask?
Now, back to the subjects of indifference. Another example is my "killer wardrobes" that they say are quite strange to wear in Saudi Arabia. Since it became old and worn-out, thus, I stopped wearing them. During my vacation last May 2005 in Manila, I made my own fashion designs and have somebody tailored it for me. And for sometime, since I came back, my new sets of wardrobes were fine, not until now that I start feeling bored wearing them. Even on my extra temporal-affairs, boredom and irritations do come in, which oftentimes, pushed me to the world of guilt and ill-feelings. Besides, what my "ayouni" has to do with it!
As I look back at this indifference, I suddenly recalled an advice of my bestfriend, (Jessica), who had been killed by a "killer lightning". Once he told me, "all we have to do is to find ways to keep the excitement going". A simple glimpse of idiotic brouhaha. And this thought made me rack my brains at this very moment.
As I think about it, few cute-instances feed-in like: Perhaps, if I get bored with an exercise tape, I need to buy new one or borrow another till I get so bored with the new one and make the old one exciting again. Perhaps, if I get bored eating "adobo", then I should try some sort of Italian or French foods, until my crave for "adobo" comes back. Perhaps, if I am sick and tired of seeing the same people like my true-old-friends like Basil, Leonard, Oscar, Adan, Gil, Noriel, Terry and Donald, then I should go out and meet some new ones.
And perhaps, I could trust the advice of Jessica that after getting bored with these new ones I will find the old ones more exciting, more valuable like angels. Perhaps, it is just a matter of renewing the feelings, the appetite, the happenings! But one thing I so sure about this "old-and-new" thing: "That it is sad and true that you don't know what you have until it is gone". And perhaps, I should always think about it.
Two years ago, I had a lengthy chat with Mr. Jacir, the advisor to the "Royalty", who happened to be then in Riyadh about how meaningless life can be sometimes. And how frustrated and disappointed one feels at times. Mr. Jacir told me that he believed in the theory that each person has his own problems and somehow he manages to live with them. And if it were possible for human beings to change their lives or at least their problems that each person would soon want his old trouble back. He did not know, but I found his theory somehow appealing. That nobody and nothing is perfect, but you have to find a way to make it bearable. Maybe, that is what life is all about. Besides, if it weren't for defeats, the victories wouldn't mean as much. Perhaps, it is indeed true that sometimes we need to lose in order to win!
I tell you it is scary. I mean, seeing things as they truly are can be brutal. I suggest that all people keep their masks and that way, we can have a more healthy environment. I don’t need to know that a certain guy broke up with his girlfriend. I don't need to know that a friend is badmouthing me or telling foul against another friend. Sometimes, I just want to sit in my home-pad breathing my smoke-free-air. Is that too much to ask?
Now, back to the subjects of indifference. Another example is my "killer wardrobes" that they say are quite strange to wear in Saudi Arabia. Since it became old and worn-out, thus, I stopped wearing them. During my vacation last May 2005 in Manila, I made my own fashion designs and have somebody tailored it for me. And for sometime, since I came back, my new sets of wardrobes were fine, not until now that I start feeling bored wearing them. Even on my extra temporal-affairs, boredom and irritations do come in, which oftentimes, pushed me to the world of guilt and ill-feelings. Besides, what my "ayouni" has to do with it!
As I look back at this indifference, I suddenly recalled an advice of my bestfriend, (Jessica), who had been killed by a "killer lightning". Once he told me, "all we have to do is to find ways to keep the excitement going". A simple glimpse of idiotic brouhaha. And this thought made me rack my brains at this very moment.
As I think about it, few cute-instances feed-in like: Perhaps, if I get bored with an exercise tape, I need to buy new one or borrow another till I get so bored with the new one and make the old one exciting again. Perhaps, if I get bored eating "adobo", then I should try some sort of Italian or French foods, until my crave for "adobo" comes back. Perhaps, if I am sick and tired of seeing the same people like my true-old-friends like Basil, Leonard, Oscar, Adan, Gil, Noriel, Terry and Donald, then I should go out and meet some new ones.
And perhaps, I could trust the advice of Jessica that after getting bored with these new ones I will find the old ones more exciting, more valuable like angels. Perhaps, it is just a matter of renewing the feelings, the appetite, the happenings! But one thing I so sure about this "old-and-new" thing: "That it is sad and true that you don't know what you have until it is gone". And perhaps, I should always think about it.
Two years ago, I had a lengthy chat with Mr. Jacir, the advisor to the "Royalty", who happened to be then in Riyadh about how meaningless life can be sometimes. And how frustrated and disappointed one feels at times. Mr. Jacir told me that he believed in the theory that each person has his own problems and somehow he manages to live with them. And if it were possible for human beings to change their lives or at least their problems that each person would soon want his old trouble back. He did not know, but I found his theory somehow appealing. That nobody and nothing is perfect, but you have to find a way to make it bearable. Maybe, that is what life is all about. Besides, if it weren't for defeats, the victories wouldn't mean as much. Perhaps, it is indeed true that sometimes we need to lose in order to win!
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